Sometimes, it can seem like everyone on the planet is basically obsessed with romance, but if you find yourself wondering why you're not attracted to anyone, you're not alone. While being aromantic isn't common, it's also not completely rare. There are lots of aromantics out there, and it can help to know the signs that you might be among them.
Someone who is aromantic doesn't experience romantic feelings or attraction, but they might still have sexual desires that don't include romance. There's a whole spectrum of asexuality and aromanticism, and people on this spectrum may make up 1% to 4% of the general population.
Five Signs You May Be Aromantic
If you find yourself wondering, "Am I aromantic?" there's actually a fairly good chance that you are. Plus, there are some clues that can help you decide. You're the one who knows yourself best, and some or all of these may sound familiar.
You're Perfectly Happy With Your Platonic Friendships
Being aromantic doesn't mean there's something missing in your life or that you don't value relationships. You may have some very close friendships that satisfy you socially and give you support when you really need it (we all need support sometimes). A lot of people love their friends, but they desire a romantic relationship, too. If you feel totally fulfilled by your friendships and don't get the sense that something is missing, it could be a sign that you're aromantic.
You Don't Dream of a Romantic Relationship
Not into thinking about how great it would be to go on a super romantic date or have a long-term SO? This could be a sign you're just not into romance. Many people dream about having a really great romantic relationship with someone. It's not like they think about it all the time (although some people think about it a lot), but it's there as a goal. If it's not a goal for you or you basically never think about it, you might be aromantic.
Related: Queerplatonic Relationships: 6 Signs They're Right for You
You May Not Know How Romantic Feelings Feel
Ever wonder what on earth possesses people to do crazy things for love or how it feels to really like like someone? If this seems mysterious and kind of weird to you, you could be aromantic. After all, it's hard to imagine feeling something you've never felt before.
Just because aromantics don't love people romantically doesn't mean they can't have really great relationships in their lives. Aromantics love other people. They can have deep friendships and close family relationships. They just don't want the romantic stuff.
You Don't Get Crushes
Speaking of romantic feelings, aromantics don't usually get crushes. A crush feels a little like when you're really into a video game or can't stop thinking about a great book or show, but that feeling is for a person and can be even more intense. If you really just never experience crushing on someone you know (or even someone famous), you could definitely be aromantic.
You're Not Into Watching Shows or Movies About Romance
Don't get us wrong: A lot of people want to gag when they get dragged to a super dramatic, all-romance movie. But if you feel that way about any romantic scene or wonder why there has to be romance in so many shows, books, or movies, you might be on the aromantic end of the spectrum.
Why You Might Not Be Attracted to Anyone
Even people who are really into romance aren't attracted to everyone (or even most people). The way someone looks or acts, their gender, or how they express themselves can make a big difference in whether they are attractive to someone. Some people are only attracted to one gender, for instance. But if you aren't attracted to anyone that way, there could be a few reasons for that:
- You might be aromantic and just not feel romantically attracted to anyone.
- You might have very specific romantic tastes, and you might not have met someone who attracted you yet.
- You could still be maturing and might not be ready for a romantic relationship.
- You may be asexual and want a romantic relationship but not the sexual aspects that can come with it.
Related: How to Share Your Preferred Pronouns (Tips for Any Situation)
Any Answer to "Am I Aromantic?" Is Okay
No matter the reason, it's perfectly okay to not be attracted to anyone or not want a romantic relationship. Knowing who you are is important, and wondering if you're aromantic can be part of that. But once you suspect an answer (any answer), remember that being the way you are is okay. Our society can seem like it's built around romance and pairing up, but there are plenty of people who don't live their lives that way. If you count yourself among them, focus on being happy the way you are.
