January brings a fresh start for everyone, but sometimes the cold weather can make it hard to keep your holiday cheer going throughout the beginning of the year. Thankfully, January jokes can keep you jolly until Christmas in July!
If you're looking for some laughs, we have a pile full of funny January jokes and puns to help you stay warm with glee throughout the peak of winter.
January Jokes for Kids to Usher in the Second Half of the School Year
January means that school is back in session, which will bring the fun of seeing friends once again, along with the return of homework and tests. No need to get down though! We have some January jokes for kids that will turn that frown upside down.
What is the best way to get to school in January?
By icicle!
Why did the elf have to go back to school before Christmas break was over?
He was convinced that the alphabet had No-el!
What did the book do in January before heading back to school?
He put a jacket on!
What did one shoe say to the other on the first day of track practice?
You ready to go to the laces?
What do you call milk made in the first month of the year?
Janu-dairy!
What is the best breakfast to eat on the first day back to school so that you can do well in English class?
Synonym rolls!
Where do you find the answers to your homework in January?
On the w-internet!
What do you call a shape who gets into an accident on his way back to school in January?
A wreck-tangle!
Why did Mr. Bubble not want to go back to school after winter break?
He was afraid of the pop quizzes!
How does January stay in shape for the spring?
It does day-ly workouts!
When do monsters go back to school after winter break?
In Janu-eerie!
Why did the clock get in trouble on the first day back to school after Christmas break?
He was tocking too much about his holiday!
Why did Odin's son want to skip P.E. class on the first day back to school?
Because he was Thor! He did not have a Loki break. He spent it shoveling snow!
Why was the math book sad to go back to school in January?
It had so many problems!
Funny January Jokes for Adults That Your Dad Would Approve Of
For the adults who need a little motivation to stick to their New Year's resolution of staying healthy in the new year, these January jokes about diet and exercise can help you laugh off the days when your goals fall flat! We also have some brrr-illiant winter weather January jokes to keep you joyful all season long.
Why do hamburgers always look better in January?
They have spent the month at the gym working out to get better buns!
Why does everyone work out in January?
Because they need to lift their spirits after the holiday is over!
Why is it better to start your diet in December instead of January?
Because that's the best way to have a happy new rear!
Do you know why eating hamburgers is a good fitness routine?
Because fitness food in my mouth is a hard workout!
What do you call a person who can't keep their January diet resolutions?
A dessert-er!
What do you call a couple who gets hitched in the first month of the year?
Janu-married!
Did you hear about the man whose coat got stolen on New Year's Day?
Someone jack-et!
Why do bad cooks always have the best success losing weight in January?
Because they are experts at burning calories!
Why did the chicken go to the gym in January?
To work out his pecks!
Where should you keep your money in January?
In a slush fund!
Why should you work out with a priest in January?
To exorcise your demons!
Where do stormtroopers go to find all the New Year's Day sales?
The Darth Mall!
How do you stay warm in January?
You cover yourself in a blanket of snow!
How did the man feel the morning after his first leg day?
He was a happy cramper!
Did you hear about the crazy treadmill sales at Costco and Sam's Club in January?
They will give you a run for your money!
One-Liner January Jokes & Puns for Funny Instagram Posts
As you better yourself this January, you may want to highlight your progress with some clever pictures and puns. These one-liner January jokes can be the perfect pairing to your social posts!
- I decided to exercise more this January. It didn't workout so far.
- January — the one time of the year when "going to the bar" means going to lift weights.
- When I said that my New Year's resolution was to work on my six-pack, I meant the beer in the fridge.
- I heard that if you want to lose weight, broccoli is one of the best things to eat, but I hate green vegetables. The news has me pretty steamed.
- I accidentally bought a calendar from last year. Talk about a day-saster!
- This cardio is heart work!
- That workout really HITT the spot! Turns out that I'm whey into this New Year's resolution!
- Want to go to the bar? I'm hoping there won't be a big weight because I need to lift my spirits.
- This January, my New Year's resolution is to break tread with you!
- Eating chips and guac is the best workout! Between the chip lifts and the jaw push-ups, you get an intense avocardio session!
- I said that I was going to start exercising every day this year, but after one workout, I made like a banana and split!
If you love winter and don't feel like you get enough of January, this year brings an extra day of this chilly season! How, you may ask? It's a leap year! So, make the most of January and February before the temperatures spike with the start of spring.
January Jokes Can Keep You Out of Hibernation Mode
We start the year with such excitement for the future, but it can be easy to stay snuggled up all month long thanks to the cold weather. January jokes can be a fun way to motivate you to move and stay on point with your goals for the year!
