Halloween jokes are the perfect combination of tricks and treats! Celebrate your holiday with a few ghoulish giggles over witches, vampires, skeletons, ghosts, and more! And of course, the best Halloween jokes are the ones that also delight our dads, so expect to see a few corny quips on this list too.
Ready to get laughing? We have 110 funny Halloween jokes that will guarantee a haunting good time!
Corny Halloween Jokes to Scare Up Some Laughter
Who doesn't love a good corny joke? Add in spiders, zombies, and scarecrows, and you have a pocket full of hilarity. Have a fang-tastic good time with these Halloween funnies!
What do you call a graveyard at the end of a cul-de-sac?
A real dead end!
What has eight legs and only comes out when there is a full moon?
A wolf spider!
How do you predict what will happen on Halloween night?
You read your horrorscope!
Was the headless horseman handsome?
He was downright gourd-geous!
How did the vampires travel from Transylvania to America?
They took a fleet of blood vessels!
When do zombies go to work?
On Fright-days!
How does a Scarecrow style his hair?
With scare spray!
Why are zombies so smart?
They eat brain food!
Where do monsters always get their cookies?
From the ghoul scouts!
What is the scariest thing a horse can dress up as for Halloween?
A night mare!
Super Humerus Skeleton Jokes That Are Bad to the Bone
If you are looking to tickle everyone's funny bone, skeleton jokes are a superb place to start!
What instrument does a skeleton play?
The trom-bone!
How did the skeleton's brother make him cry?
He called him a bonehead.
Where do skeletons love to swim?
In the Dead Sea!
What did the skeleton ask his girlfriend on Halloween night?
Will you marrow me?
Why did the skeleton take a job in Hollywood?
She wanted tibia star!
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
They are not afraid to show off their funny bone!
Did you hear about the skeleton who wouldn't go on the roller coaster?
He didn't have the guts!
What part of the house do skeletons avoid?
The living room!
Who is the greatest skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Where does a skeleton mechanic work?
The body shop, of course!
Why are skeletons so cool?
Because nothing can get under their skin!
Who can you expect to see at a haunted house on a slow night?
The skeleton crew!
What kind of job did the skeleton get at the ice rink?
Driving the zam-boney.
Why did the skeleton get detention?
She wouldn't stop taking skel-fies!
Did you hear about the skeleton who was chased by werewolves?
He marrowly escaped!
Wickedly Good Witch Jokes to Bring a Spell of Laughter
If you're looking to have a wicked good time, we've also conjured up some spellbinding witch jokes that are simply bewitching!
Why did the witches cancel their ball game?
They couldn't find the bats!
Why was the witch not doing well in school?
She wasn't good at spelling!
How does a warlock compliment his date?
He says she is brewtiful!
What did the little witch think of her mother's latest potion?
It tasted as good as it spelled!
What is a witch's favorite kind of jewelry?
Charm bracelets!
Why did the witches get a noise complaint?
They were blaring music on their broomboxes!
Did you hear about the witch who fell in love with her broom?
It swept her off her feet.
Why doesn't Voldemort wear glasses when he reads his spell book?
Nobody nose!
What is a witch's favorite book?
Great Hex-pectations!
Why was the witch late to school?
Her broom over-swept!
Why was the little witch so excited to meet Winifred Sanderson?
Because she is witch and famous!
What does the receptionist say when you call the spellbook hotline and they are busy?
Bewitcha in a minute!
Why should you never tell a witch your secret family recipes?
Because they will always spell the beans!
How does a witch tell her friends that she is pregnant?
She says she has a bun in the coven!
Did you hear about the witch who got chickenpox?
She was one itchy witchy!
Great Ghost Jokes to Lift Everyone's Spirits
Where can you find good ghost jokes? At the ghost-ery store, of course! However, if you don't have time to shop for spook-tacular jests, we have a eerie-sistable selection to choose from right here!
Why do ghosts make lousy liars?
They are too transparent.
How do ghosts get directions to Halloween parties?
They ghoul-gle them!
What do ghosts eat on Halloween?
Spook-ghetti!
What do you call a ghost who twisted his ankle?
A hoblin goblin!
Did you know that ghosts are fast drivers?
That's why you should always buckle your sheet belts!
When do ghosts go to scare school?
In the moaning!
Who throws the best Halloween parties?
The ghostess with the mostest!
Why did the ghost cross the road?
Nobody could hit him.
Why are ghosts so strong?
They exorcise every day!
Why did the ghosts run off stage?
Everyone was booing.
What kind of makeup does a ghost use?
Vanishing cream.
What is a ghost's favorite drink on a hot Halloween evening?
Ghoul-aid!
Why can't a ghost get married?
No-body would be there.
What did the ghost mom say to the baby on his first Halloween night?
You've got this, boo!
What does the ghost eat for breakfast?
Booberries!
Marvelous Vampire Jokes That Don't Suck
Get ready to sink your teeth into this terrific list of vampire jokes! They'll have everyone going batty.
Why did the vampires avoid the witch at school?
She's catty.
Why don't vampires like Halloween?
They're all about Fangs-giving.
Where does a vampire store his files?
On his blood drive.
When are you guaranteed to see a werewolf and a vampire at the same time?
When there is a full blood moon.
Did you hear that Dracula is renovating his castle?
He is re-vamping the whole place!
What is a vampire's favorite spice?
Vein-illa extract!
Why do vampires hate Philadelphia?
Because it is always sunny!
When are vampires the most grumpy?
When they drink B-negative blood!
Why did the vampire get dumped?
His girlfriend thought he was a pain in the neck!
How does a vampire take his coffee?
De-coffinated!
What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
Neck-tarines!
Why does Dracula hate autocorrect?
Because he loves type-Os!
Why do vampires never go to the horse races?
They can't handle the stakes!
Why was the vampire turned off by his date?
She had bat breath!
Why should you never tell Dracula to get a life?
Because he might take yours later!
Frighteningly Punny Halloween Dad Jokes to Get Him Laughing
You can find a never-ending list of dad jokes all over the net. While these Halloween dad jokes are cornier than candy corn, they'll make you laugh and potentially make your eyes roll!
Where do zombies always live?
On dead-end streets.
What do you serve at a Halloween cookout?
Roasted Halloweenies!
What do you call a werewolf who isn't paying attention?
An unaware-wolf!
What do you serve beer in at a Halloween party?
A Franken-stein.
Why was the phantom mad her boyfriend didn't text back?
She got ghosted!
Where do bats hang out on October weekends?
At the Dracula fang club!
Why did the mummy go to therapy?
His brain was unraveling.
Why were the zombie musicians mad at the drummer?
He rattled their bones.
How do you know a monster is sick?
He starts coffin!
What do you call a ghost chicken?
A poultry-geist!
Why was the Headless Horseman so desperate to get a job?
He wanted to get a-head in life!
Why does the cemetery always make great movies?
The plots are amazing.
What sport does a Halloween pumpkin play?
Squash.
Why did the troll cross the bridge?
Because it was his.
Why did the chicken cross the graveyard?
To get to the other side!
Trick or Treat Halloween Jokes That Will Bring Good & Plenty Fun
Looking for a skittle more fun? Halloween is not only about the thrills and chills of the season. It's about the candy, too! Add the funny to trick-or-treating with a good joke. It's sure to lift your spirits!
What do you call an agreement made on Halloween?
A trick or treaty.
Who dances while trick or treating?
The boogeyman.
Why couldn't the mummies go trick or treating?
They were all wrapped up.
How do ghouls and goblins get their candy on Halloween night?
They take the Monster truck!
What does a black cat always hope to get while trick or treating?
Mice crispies!
Why was the ghost not tired after trick or treating?
Because she had been goblin up all her candy on the walk home!
Why don't hockey players want a treat on Halloween?
They'd rather have a hat trick.
What's a vampire's favorite Halloween treat?
Suckers.
Who did Frankenstein take out trick or treating?
His ghoul friend.
Why didn't the jack-o'-lantern go trick or treating?
He didn't have the guts.
Why does Michael Jackson love trick-or-treating?
It's a thriller.
What do little vampires say after you give them Halloween treats?
Fangs for the candy!
What should you give a mummy during trick or treating?
Lifesavers.
What did the bird say on Halloween when it wanted some candy?
Trick or tweet.
What did the vampire say to the trick or treaters?
Have a fang-tastic Halloween!
Hilarious Halloween Jokes for Kids
Kids aren't too cute to spook. So, you can't have Halloween jokes without including the kiddos into the mix. Just remember, for kids, you need to creep it real!
Why can't the jack-o'-lantern sit in the dark?
He's gutless.
Why was the egg behaving badly on Halloween?
He was deviled.
Why can't you upset a mummy?
He'll totally unravel.
How do you get into the haunted house?
With a spoo-key!
What is a monster's favorite bedtime story?
Ghoul-dilocks and the Three Scares!
Where can you always find Casper at the amusement park?
On the roller ghoster!
What do you call the witches who hang out in the sandbox?
Sand-witches!
What is a monster's favorite game?
Hide and shriek!
What is a frog's favorite Halloween drink?
Apple spider!
How do monsters travel to Transylvania for vacation?
They take a scare-plane!
Halloween Jokes Are Great for a Laughing Ghoul Time
Halloween jokes always bring a ghoul time! If you are looking for more giggles, then check out our list of Halloween puns and fall jokes! They are sure to leaf everyone laughing.
